After Your Constellation

by Heinz Stark

You have received new insights and healing images in the soul’s unique language. This has a deep impact and can give your life new direction. Our soul is not a machine that turns on and off. It has its own ways to digest and assimilate what touches it.

Thoughts are quick. The soul moves slowly.

On a soul level, we are deeply connected with all the members of our family system, living and dead. The healing effects of the work unfold in their own time when we let go of the need to do something. As we hold all those who belong to our family in conscious love, respecting their fates and their burdens as their own, then the childlike loyalties where love and belonging meant living out the consequences of another’s life will serve no further purpose. Suffering is replaced with acknowledging what is.

Ancestors on any level remain honored as ancestors even when they have shown up in the constellation as perpetrators or otherwise difficult members of the family system. They became fathers or mothers, ancestors, in service of love and life and the continuation of the family. For whatever else they have done they bare both responsibility and consequences as part of their own fate.

The challenge for us, especially in our action-oriented culture, is to let go of the problem, even to let go of pondering it. We especially need to drop all attempts to interfere in the business of our parents, grandparents and ancestors. We support our own healing best when we withhold all judgment, forget what we have seen in the constellation about events of the past, and focus on the solution picture along with the sense of completeness, belonging and new orientation to life that it generates.

You may, along the way, encounter resistance in the form of thoughts or fears. Just recall the relief you felt deep inside you when a solution was found or a new image came to light. The soul now holds this new image and will assimilate it over time in the most beneficial way. Any attempt to influence the process by talking, thinking, analyzing or researching is completely unnecessary.

Remember that our ancestors, as a system or family soul, have a deep desire for us and our families to prosper in the realm of the living. Often we see that this was the very force that led us to Constellation Work, helping us break out of the status quo, which once protected the family from the harmful consequences of past events, but has now lost its function. What seemed necessary in the past no longer serves and we are free to carry on in an unburdened way.

Trust that you will move forward. The process will unfold over months, even years. If you want to share your experiences, share the new insights rather than the original problem. Looking at the solution allows the problem, now past, to have a positive influence on the present.

All the best to you!

 

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Used with permission. A body and family therapist in private practice in Germany, Heinz Stark has been instrumental in bringing Bert Hellinger's Systemic Constellation Work to America since 1995. He has been an educator and workshop leader since 1972.

 

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